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Chronic illness can really suck the love and romance out of Valentine’s Day. A big night out, or evening of passion, isn’t always an option when you’re fatigued, in pain or amid a flare-up. There is nothing less passionate than hot water bottles and pain killers. Which makes coming up with Valentine’s date ideas even more difficult.
Those of us with chronic illness know how important it is to always take care of our bodies. We also know how much our chronic illness doesn’t give a fuck what day it is. Whether it’s our birthday, Valentine’s day or a Thursday. Flare-ups can come at any time. But that doesn’t mean we don’t want to shower our partners with love on Valentine’s Day.
So, I hear you ask, what can we do to show our bae some love whilst also managing our illness?
Whether your chronic illness is flaring up or your nursing the flu, there are plenty of ways to show your boo some love without having to use too much energy or travel too far (if at all).
7 Valentines Date Ideas for the Chronically Ill Baes
1. Dinner for two
The most common Valentine’s date is going out for a romantic dinner, dressed in your best outfit, in a stupidly expensive restaurant. When you’re exhausted or in pain, getting dressed up and traveling further than your sofa may not be realistic.
How about bringing the restaurant to you?
If you have a dining table, dim the lights, light a few candles and put on some sexy music to set the mood.
Or if you have the energy, you can cook your partner’s favourite meal and plate it up like a 5* restaurant.
If not, order a takeaway from your favourite restaurant, snuggle up on the sofa and spend some quality time together.
You can set a fancy dress code, or wear your comfy Pj’s, it’s up to you!
2. Signature Cocktail night
Turn your kitchen into the fanciest bar in town. Spend the evening making signature cocktails together. They can be alcoholic or non-alcoholic and don’t have to cost too much.
Think of a cocktail that describes your partner.
Are they spicy, sweet, funny, sharp? Make a signature cocktail that describes them and give it a fitting name, for example, the Sassy Martini.
Get some cute glasses from Amazon, crush some ice, and shake that bad boy up. Whilst your laugh, chat and spend quality time with your partner.
3. Netflix and ‘actually’ chill
A night at the movies is one of the more simple valentines’s date ideas, but when you have a chronic illness, even that can be too much.
So instead bring the cinema experience to your living room.
Have you and your partner been meaning to catch up on The Last of Us? Or is there a show on Netflix you’ve been dying to watch?
Get into your ‘sexy’ pjs, grab the popcorn, and snuggle up under a fuzzy blanket.
To spice things up, make a funny bet. For example, the first one to fall asleep buys the other a treat.
Or the first one to interrupt the movie does the dishes for a week. Make it fun and tailor it to your relationship.
4. Sexy Tubby Time
If you have a big enough bathtub, set the mood with some candles, add in a bath bomb or luxury bubble bath, and enjoy with your partner.
If you really want to spice things up, bring in some essential oils and give each other a sensual massage.
Not only is this intimate, it will also allow you to soak your body and ease any aches and pains you may be experiencing.
5. Go for a late-night drive
If the idea of soaking in the bath with your partner gives you the ‘ick’ or if you just want to get out the house. Go for a drive listening to your favourite songs, and spending some alone time with your boo.
Drive to a local viewpoint, park up and enjoy the view.
If you’re not sure of any beautiful spots near you, just type in ‘viewpoints near’ me on google and you’ll come across some beautiful spots. Thank me later.
6. All I Wanna Do is Zoom Zoom Zoom
Having a chronic illness can really strip you of your energy, so even the most low-energy activities can feel like hell. If that’s the case on Valentine’s Day, make use of the technology we have available to us.
Set up a zoom or FaceTime call with your bae, to catch up and whisper sweet nothings into each other’s virtual ear.
7. It’s the thought that counts
If you’re having a terrible flare-up or are too fatigued to try any of these ideas, don’t worry. We’ve all heard the saying ‘it’s the thought that counts’.
Instead, send your loved one a gift that’ll be more thoughtful than any valentine’s date ideas. Show how much you love and appreciate them.
It can be flowers, a gift basket full of all their favourite treats or something they’ve had their eye on for a while.
Insert a gift card expressing how you feel about. Then schedule a date night for when you’re feeling up to it.
Love above all else!
Valentine’s day can be tough, particularly for those of us living with chronic pain or illness.
It’s easy to feel guilty about not being able to live up to the exaggerated and ridiculously commercialised Valentine’s date ideas.
Yes, the crazy gestures, date nights and gifts can be nice, but they’re not always realistic when you or your partner have a chronic illness.
Your partner should understand and be open to your adaptation of Valentine’s Day and should do whatever they can to make you feel loved and comfortable..
If you get sexy and have a night out, that’s amazing! Or if you spend an intimate, relaxing night at home, that’s great too. One isn’t better than the other.
Do what work for you and your health.
P.S.… If you’re a single babe, you can wish yourself a happy valentine’s day too. Pick one of these Valentine’s date ideas and show yourself some love. Self-love is important too!
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