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How Dealing With Chronic Pain Changed My Life Forever

September 13, 2020

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white and brown flower

Dealing with chronic pain affects more than people may realise. Aside from being in constant agony, there are many more side effects. Which over time turns you into someone you no longer recognise. Relentless pain affects everything from your mental and physical health, personality, career and relationships.

The information provided in my blog posts is strictly from my own experiences and is not intended to replace medical or professional advice. Do not disregard any medical advice you have received after reading any of my posts. For more, please read my disclosure page.

THE DAILY STRUGGLE

I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for several years and as a result I’ve had to make changes and accept that I’m a totally different person.

But accepting that things you used to do with ease are now difficult isn’t easy!

It would surprise you how many things change or become difficult for those of us living with chronic pain.

Getting dressed is no longer about looking good

brown leather bag besides white shirt and black and white striped shoes on top of blue denim jeans

Getting showered and putting on a cute outfit was the part of my morning routine I enjoyed most. Now getting washed and dressed is the most painful part of my day!

I take a lot of pride in my appearance and maintaining good hygiene, but I’ve had to make adjustments to accommodate my pain.

It’s no longer about being on-trend and looking cute, but more so about being comfortable. So instead of grabbing a tight pair of high-waisted jeans, I grab a cute pair of joggers.

Chores feel like a workout

blue yoga mat beside sports bra, shorts, towel and white water bottle

Doing household chores have become a workout and pain enhancer all in one.

Vacuuming makes me feel like I’ve done a serious session at the gym, and I’ll probably be in pain for a few days after.

Which is why I recommend investing in a Roomba, a robot vacuum to do all the work for you.

Or, if you have some extra funds, hire someone to do the chores for you.

Going out is like planning a secret mission

pink t-shirt hanging with black handbag on hook

Gone are the days where I could be spontaneous and book a random getaway.

Now, wherever I go out I have to calculate in my mind how long I’ll be out? Will there be somewhere to sit down? Is it easy to get out? Not having the answers to these questions can definitely deter me from going anywhere at all.

NETFLIX AND HEATING PADS

Having to cancel plans often

woman walking speaking to friend whilst holding brown wicker bag with pampass grass

Along with trying to plan our every move comes having to cancel plans, A LOT!

Chronic pain is unpredictable, meaning at the time of an invitation you may feel okay to accept. But when the day finally arrives you feel like crap and have to cancel.

Over time, you may miss a lot of birthdays, trips and special occasions. Having to cancel all the time can make you feel guilty and like a party pooper, even though you desperately want to be the life of the party!

Living in a constant state of “maybe” can also lead to a feeling of isolation and, like you, don’t deserve to be invited anywhere because you have to let people down.

CHRONIC PAIN DROVE ME TO THIS

Constant mood swings

woman holding hand up

I’m going, to be honest, my mood swings are a b***h and sometimes so am I!

I’m trying my best to get it under control, but being in constant pain naturally affects your mood. It’s hard to be your normal, pleasant self when you feel like your body is under attack.

Imagine being at work trying to be great at your job and productive whilst you’re in excruciating pain.

One day you may just snap!

Although it’s understandable, not everyone will understand, especially in a work environment. A constant change in mood can make you can come across as unapproachable or even unprofessional.

Brain fog

person standing in field in fog

Chronic pain is a full-time job that can cause brain fog or cognitive difficulties.

Concentrating or remembering things can become difficult. From forgetting where you put your phone to trying to focus whilst having a conversation.

Thankfully, there are ways to help you cope with brain fog.

Having a don’t give AF attitude

woman  in floral dress standing on terrace

Dealing with chronic pain day in and day out can harden your heart. I know that makes me sound like a super b***h but hear me out.

After many years of being in pain, I’ve become less sympathetic towards people’s everyday problems.

Like seriously, you’re complaining about breaking a nail, when my entire body feels broken and I can’t grow another one, I’ve checked.

RELATIONSHIPS

Friendships

two women sitting on floor outside

Finding genuine friendships is difficult no matter your situation, and having chronic pain highlights that so much more.

You may have to weed out a lot of toxic friendships. Having understanding people who won’t judge you or make you feel guilty about your health is key.

I’ve lost so many friends over the years and only have a few genuine ones left.

Seeing the true colours of those you classed as good friends hurt. But over time you learn to appreciate the supportive friends you do have.

Romance

Single and NOT ready to mingle

woman standing wearing all white holding phone

Having chronic pain or any chronic illness whilst being single can be a weird space to be in.

You may dismiss romance because you don’t feel comfortable explaining your pain or dealing with someone else’s feelings about it.

It can also be daunting thinking about whether a potential partner will understand your pain, so you avoid it entirely.

Or, if you have started dating, it may scare you to tell someone new about your pain out of fear of being judged or rejected.

Boo’d up

silver and black ring besides pink and white flowers

Relationships are complex and throwing chronic pain into the mix can make things a little more challenging.

Being unwell can cause romance and intimacy to dwindle. As things can start to feel more like a carer patient relationship and like you rely too much on your partner for support.

It can also be hard for partners to accept the pain of their loved one and accept that their inability to do certain things is not because of them but solely because of the pain.

CAREER

woman writing in notebook

Chronic pain can really affect your career and cause you to change your original plan. You may have to change your working hours, switch career or stop working entirely.

Although we try our best to be great at our jobs and show up every day, that’s not always possible as we have to prioritise rest.

Meaning, we may have to take more sick days than others, cut hours or work remotely.

Being forced to adapt is a difficult transition and it can feel like you may never reach your full potential or actualise your dreams.

WHO’S THAT? OH SH*T That’s ME!

gray scale image of woman holding small mirror

Dealing with chronic pain can feel like a constant tug of war between yourself before pain and yourself now.

6 years ago I was pain free and living my best life, but the pain has definitely changed me.

I’m no longer carefree, but careful. I’m no longer spontaneous but calculated. No longer a dreamer, but a realist.

Although chronic pain has changed me, I’ve gotten to know the new me a little better and still find joy in life.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Dealing with chronic pain can change you in so many ways and although those changes can be hard to accept, over time they become things to come to terms with and embrace.

Even though chronic pain may have changed you, it doesn’t have to define you!

Has chronic pain changed you or your outlook on life? Leave a comment below.

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How Dealing with Chronic Pain Changes Your Life


Filed in: My Chronic Diary • by thechronicdiary • 15 Comments

Comments

  1. Elizabeth Dlouhy

    April 23, 2021 at 2:36 am

    I suffer from Piriformis and sciatic nerve problem. The pain can be totally off the chart.

    I’ve been to therapy. I’ve taken shots and medication. I do the exercises use heat and ice. I use a cane when I feel safe enough to walk. Mostly I use a walker. It is much more stable for walking.

    Getting rid of the inflammation is not hard but keeping it away is tricky. Losing weight is important if you can lose it.

    Getting in and out of bed is a real learning experience. As a widow l have to adapt and change things all the time.

    My hope is that l will be able to overcome this nightmare and be normal again. What ever normal is. Having Piriformis syndrome is hard on the body as well as the spirit.

    Thank you

    Reply
    • thechronicdiary

      May 6, 2021 at 7:32 pm

      Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with all your going through. I totaly agree with you on keeping inflammations away, its no easy task and takes some real dedication.

      I really hope you are able to get the support you deserve, emotionally, mentally and physically!

      Send you lots of healing and virtual hugs x

      Reply
  2. Diana Cruz

    September 9, 2021 at 5:02 pm

    I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last year. I’m still struggling to accept my new me. It’s been so frustrating and deflating, all the pain all the time. Can’t even enjoy a cuddle or hug because my skin thinks it’s something else and it’s just screaming don’t touch me. The planning….ug the planning. Is there a spot to rest, my knees and joints have been failing me now too. Can I walk it? Is it worth pushing for and having days of debilitating pain afterwards? I have 2 kiddos too and I just hate the fact I can’t keep up with them or do anything with them anymore. Chronic pain sucks…

    Reply
    • thechronicdiary

      September 13, 2021 at 1:50 pm

      I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. I completely understand the pre-planning of trying to do certain things such as going for a walk and worrying about pushing it too far. I hope in the very near future things get better for you! It must be really hard not being really hard not being able to do things with your little ones, but your still doing an awesome job! You’ve brought kids into this world that alone makes you awesome. Sending lots of virtual hugs xx Feel free to drop me an email if you ever need someone to talk or vent too xxx

      Reply
    • Arlene

      August 11, 2022 at 6:07 pm

      I have fibromyalgia, too, and have had it for 15 years. I really don’t like the person fibromyalgia has turned me into. I’m irritable and angry, and then I get people telling me that being in pain is not excuse to behave that way, even though they have no idea what this feels like, or the guilt I carry because of it.

      Reply
      • thechronicdiary

        November 29, 2022 at 4:58 pm

        I’ve been through the same thing! But your feelings in all forms are valid! You’re allowed to be angry and irritable at times. I find music really helps me and taking time to myself to allow myself helps with my moods. xx

        Reply
  3. Kristi

    November 15, 2021 at 4:10 pm

    I have been living with chronic pain now for 6 years – the last year has been the worst yet. I have a hypermobile sacrum – that’s the base of my spine that twists and turns throwing off all my lower body muscles and joints. My friends have all but abandoned me – my marriage is strained and I am trying to raise a teenager as well as run my own business. I am losing hope, I miss the old me so desperately… just having a real hard time coping. Thank you for this article, at least I’m not alone in this.

    Reply
    • thechronicdiary

      November 23, 2021 at 3:53 pm

      I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been having such a hard time. I really do hope that you don’t lose hope completely. I know how hard things can be and its hard to stay positive, but your amazing no matter what. We’re in this together! Feel free to reach out to me anytime, if you need someone to talk to. Sending lots of love and light xx

      Reply
  4. Deborah

    February 10, 2022 at 1:46 am

    I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 15 years ago with no idea what that would mean to my life. I, also have degenerative arthritis in my spine and joints. This is a combination that is not consistent with any self-help program, nor any independent life style. At 71 the reality is that I will have to rely on family as long as possible, before I will have to look into assisted living. That is a very humbling realization. I fear becoming so restricted that I will be like a soft-shelled crab, unable to dress, bathe or feed myself. That is in addition to things I have already had to surrender: driving, shopping, going out for lunch or a movie, dancing, riding bikes, well you get the idea. My biggest piece of advice is to find a good pain-management doctor, and a primary care physician that knows his/her way around Fibromyalgia!
    The particular symptom that has/is causings the most misery is the inability to control my body temperature. In fact, I had to discover that this was a result of fibro myself as none of the physicians I’ve mentioned the symptom to have made the connection. My bed is a tangle of sheets, blankets ( I also have Restless Leg Syndrome), & a “cool”& a “hot” nightgown, besides my glass of water, meds & my phone. I would be interested if anyone has found a solution to being hot/ cold all the he time. Thank you for your patience!

    Reply
    • thechronicdiary

      February 11, 2022 at 2:59 pm

      Thanks so much for sharing your story. I totally resonate wiht the fear of being unable to do things for yourself in the future. I totally agree with your advice on finding a good pain management doctor and primary care physician so key! I really hope you’re able to find a way to manage the heat fluctuations! Sounds so frustrating!… Sending you lots of love and light xx

      Reply
  5. LymeLife

    May 21, 2022 at 4:38 pm

    Thank you for this honest post. I’ve lived with pain and a wide range of symptoms from chronic lyme disease (and co-infections) for 8+ years and it can be hard to verbalize how overwhelming and exhausting it can be. People think we must be used to it by now, but the truth is every day is a struggle to stay strong. I can especially relate to the point about fashion/style…with GI issues, limited hand mobility, and other symptoms, my focus is on comfort and function!

    Thank you for speaking up on what is sometimes a ‘taboo’ topic!

    Reply
    • thechronicdiary

      June 17, 2022 at 7:06 pm

      Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support x

      Reply
    • Linda

      August 8, 2022 at 1:27 pm

      I also have had Lyme for approx 26 years and have only in the lady 8years known what was wrong. I find clothing actually hurts, back, neck, hip…..everything pain and sweats from Babesia are the pits. Here in Australia Lyme isn’t really that widely known and treatment very hard to get. I live 250 kilometres from the city so that makes it harder. I, thankful I have a nice partner and I work with my family so that makes a huge difference.

      Reply
  6. Marcia Callahan

    November 12, 2022 at 2:32 am

    I hurt my lower back in 1987 when I was 35. In 1995 I in was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I just turned 71, and the years have brought 1 suicide attempt, and many years of PAIN and suicidal ideation that I have fought off, mostly successfully. My good friends are very supportive and understanding. Chronic pain makes me pretty cuckoo. I find some relief from my dogs. They love me and support me, and give me a reason to get out of bed everyday and not feel sorry for myself. Not much helps me, and I’ve learned to ignore my pain level until it hits a screaming 9. Recently referred to a pain Dr. And have received injections in my lower back. For about 3 weeks pain level drops to a tolerable 6. I’m sorry to write such a long comment but it feels good to share. There is still life.

    Reply
    • thechronicdiary

      November 29, 2022 at 4:55 pm

      Thanks so much for sharing! It definitely makes me feel cuckoo at times too! I’m so pleased to hear you have a good support system and your fur babies :). There is always still a life! Sending lots of hugs xx

      Reply

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Hi, I'm Keisha and I'm here to give you an honest insight into what it's like living with chronic pain. I share my personal diary of experiences along with pain management, self care and personal development tips.

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Happy Valentine’s Day Gorgeous People !🌹💜 Happy Valentine’s Day Gorgeous People !🌹💜

#valentinesday #chronicpain #chronicpainsucks #spoonie #chronicillnesscommunity #chronicillnessblogger #chronicpainsupport #illness #chronicillnesslife #spooniecommunity #chronicallyill
Happy Galentine's Day! 💜🤗 "Uteruses before Happy Galentine's Day! 💜🤗

"Uteruses before duderuses… Ovaries before brovaries." — Leslie Knope

#galentines #galentinesday #girlpower #chronicpain #chronicillnesscommunity #chronicpelvicpain #chronicillness #spoonielove #leslieknopequotes
Chronic illness can really suck the romance out of Chronic illness can really suck the romance out of Valentine’s Day... A sexy night out isn’t always possible when you're fatigued or in a hella' pain. 

Unfortunately, we can't turn down our symptoms and turn up the sexy. 

Whether it's Valentine’s Day, a birthday, or a Tuesday... Flare-ups and fatigue can hit us hard at any time. 

So, what the hell can we do? 

We want to show our partners some tender lovin’ and affection. But, our energy levels are depleted or pain is kicking our ass…

Don’t worry, I’ve got you! 😉

In this week's blog post, I’ve put together some low-key, chronic illness-friendly, date ideas that’ll help you show your bae how much you love them! 💜💜💜

Link in bio! 

#valentinesdateideas #chronicillnesscouple #chronicallyillbae #spoonie #chronicpainflareup #chronicillnesscommunity #chronicillnessawareness #chronicillnessblogger #chronicpainawareness #chronicpainsupport #illness #chronicillnesslife #spooniecommunity #spoonielife #sickofbeingsick #chronicallyill
Chronic illness, a full-time job, with no pay, ben Chronic illness, a full-time job, with no pay, benefits, health insurance, free lunches or vacations. 

Do NOT apply. I would NOT recommend! 

#chronicpain #chronicpainsucks #spoonie #chronicpainflareup #chronicillnesscommunity #pelvichealth #pelvicpainsyndrome#chronicillnessawareness #chronicillnessblogger #chronicpainawareness #endo #chronicpainsupport #chronicpainsupport #illness #chronicillnesslife #spooniecommunity #spoonielife #sickofbeingsick #chronicallyill
Chronic illness is a full-time job, with no off da Chronic illness is a full-time job, with no off days or vacations. Everything revolves around our health. 😓Over time, it can leave you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or even depressed. 

That’s what led me to take such a long break from the blog and socials! 

It took me a long time to shake that feeling. But one thing I know for certain is, I never want to feel like that again and I don’t want you to either. 

But things get tricky when you have a chronic illness. It’s here to stay. We can’t hit the kill switch on our illness. So how on earth are we supposed to ‘recharge’? 

It’s something I’ve been trying to figure out for the longest…

In this week’s blog post, I’ve put together some helpful strategies that have helped me, and will hopefully help you, deal with burnout. 

I break down what chronic illness burnout is, some signs to look out for, as well as some simple things you can do to combat it. 

I hope you find it helpful! Link in Bio.

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Saying 'NO' or setting boundaries when you have a Saying 'NO' or setting boundaries when you have a long term illness can be hard. It can make you feel like a bitch or even a little guilty.But sometimes it's necessary in order for you to prioritise your health.

Here are few kind ways you can say no without feeling guilty.

What other ways do you say no? Drop it in the comments 👇🏾 

#settingboundaries #nomeansno #spoonie #chronicpain #chronicpainflareup #chronicillnesscommunity #pelvichealth #pelvicpainsyndrome #boundaries #chronicillnessawareness #chronicillnessblogger #chronicpainawareness #endo #pelvis #chronicpainsupport #chronicpainsupport #illness #chronicillnesslife #spooniecommunity #spoonielife #sickofbeingsick #chronicallyill
Todays officially the worst day of year..aka Blue Todays officially the worst day of year..aka Blue Monday. I don’t really believe in it but I get the idea. 

I do know that things can feel a little ‘blah’ and dreary around this time of year. 

The holidays are over, and with them can come a wave of sadness. The decorations have been taken down; the presents have been opened, and all that's left is to face the reality of January and the cold winter months ahead.

You might feel a little down, anxious or disorientated. You’re not alone, so many of us are feeling the same right now!

So after a long break,I’ve finally gotten my writing juices flowing again, and put together some tips to help shake off the post-Christmas blues, and start feeling happy again!

I’d love for you to check it out. Link in bio. 

#bluemonday #bluemonday💙 #postchristmasblues #holidayblues #mentalhealthmatters #selfcare #januaryblues #newyearnewgoals #chronicpainsucks #mentalhealthmatters#chronicillnesscommunity #chronicillnessawareness #chronicillnessblogger #chronicpainblogger #blog # #illness #chronicillnesslife #spoonielife #chronicallyill
Bad days come and go, but they don’t last foreve Bad days come and go, but they don’t last forever. 

If you’re having a shit day, just remember better days are on their way! 💜🤗💜

#reminders#selflove #mentalhealthmatters #spoonie #chronicpainflareup #chronicillnesscommunity #wellness #chronicillnessblogger #chronicpainquotes #chronicpainsupport #illness #chronicillnesslife #spooniecommunity #spoonielife #sickofbeingsick #chronicallyill
Rest,Rest,Rest...😴 If you live with chronic pa Rest,Rest,Rest...😴

If you live with chronic pain or illness, you come to realise how important rest actually is❗️

It's the one thing we need to keep going.

However, in a world where 'maximising your time' and productivity hacks are shoved down our throats, particularly at this time of year (New year, new me and all that shit). It's easy to feel you're wasting time or not doing enough by prioritising rest. 

But I'm here to say fuck that! 🖕🏾

Rest when we need it can NEVER be a waste of time!

It's an investment...! Particularly if you have pain or any health condition!

Rest is our time to destress, detach and escape from all things thrown our way, health or life-related.

Let's stop punishing ourselves, or feeling guilty about resting. Instead, let's consider it the best investment we'll ever make... into ourselves!😉

 #chronicpain #chronicpainsucks #spoonie #chronicpainflareup #chronicillnesscommunity #pelvicpainsyndrome#chronicillnessawareness #chronicillnessblogger #chronicpainawareness #chronicpainsupport #chronicpainsupport #illness #chronicillnesslife #spooniecommunity #sickofbeingsick #chronicallyill

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